Wednesday, January 23, 2013

3's and 8's



There is something very serious I need to talk to you about today.  It is a plague against humanity that simply cannot be tolerated.  This plague is the inability of gas station workers to properly hang up one of those giant 3's in their signs.  Americans will not stand for this!  Take for example this picture.  



This is a gas station on my drive home from work.  Look closely at the bottom row for premium gas.  Do you notice anything out of place?  Hopefully you see that both of the 3's are upside down.  Compare those 3's with the 3's in the first two rows.  Let me enlarge a 3 in several different fonts so you can see how the number is supposed to look, 3 3 3 3 3.  Do you see what I mean?  In a proper 3, the bottom partial circle has a diameter larger or equal to the diameter of the top partial circle.  Anything that appears like this photo is just a travesty.

If you disagree with me about how a 3 should look, please feel free to leave a comment below.  However, don't be alarmed if I respond with some sort of comment about how you are obviously delusional with some sort of Stockholm syndrome.  You have this problem because you have been tolerating for far too long the thousands upon thousands of gas stations that only get it right about half the time, like the pic above.  Maybe I could become some sort of psychiatrist that only deals with reforming patients who have no problem with top-heavy 3's.  I bet there is a fortune to be made in this.  Now, if you are a psychiatrist who wants to get into this form of life saving therapy, I am sure that we can come to some sort of mutually beneficial franchising arrangement together.  Oh, you say that psychiatrists don't use a franchise model?  Oh, OK, well then feel free to send me some sort of huge grant for "research" where I don't have to produce any results at all.

Now, this problem is not just limited to 3's.  It also applies equally to 8's.  How often have you ever made a snowman where the base of the snowman is smaller than the head of the snowman?  I don't care whether you choose to use two or three balls to create your snowman.  Either way, you almost inevitably make the base the biggest.  It's either that or my brother needs to talk to you about your mechanical engineering skills.  Now, admittedly, you don't see the 8 problem nearly as often with gas stations.  (In this photo they are actually fine)  But that is only because there are fewer opportunities.  Thankfully, we don't have $8.xx9 gas yet, so the 8 has to appear in the cents piece, which is sometimes in a smaller font, and harder to read.  This leads to me being more of a benevolent dictator on this topic, but not by much.

So how about it?  Will you join my army of concerned citizens who are willing to fight the good fight to instill more sensibility amongst our gas station signs?

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