Overqualified but Content

I know, I know. It has been around 7 months since the last time I wrote a blog post.  I haven't written anything because it accomplished its goal at the time, I didn't really feel like it, I had gotten out of the habit, and hardly anybody was reading it anyway.

Since that last post I have moved again.  I'm now in Denver, Colorado.  I haven't made a big deal of it in the past, but I am a table games dealer in a casino now.  Back in 2005, I moved out to Las Vegas and worked on The Strip at The Flamingo for a year.  It was a great experience.  It was also something I had dreamed about since I was in middle school.  I never intended for that job to be a long term commitment.  In between then and now, I have done a variety of things, the majority of time was spent as an actuary in the insurance world.

I've been crashing at a friend's place for the last bunch of weeks.  I've never had that dynamic before and it has been great fun.  I had some intense drama regarding my initial job when I moved out here to Denver.  I butted heads with the head of table games that is frankly afraid of dealers that stand up for themselves against ridiculous policies.  Without the support group I had here it would have been a lot tougher.  I landed a great job at a different casino.  The new one has been excellent and I have been impressed with it.  It takes a lot to impress me.  As many of you know, I have absolutely no reservations about changing jobs.  Since I graduated high school, I have never lived in the same metro area, let alone held the same job, for more than 3 consecutive years.  I have never renewed any apartment lease.  My parents have appropriately nicknamed me their "Wandering Son".

As a casino dealer, my job is extremely portable.  I have all the skills and personality needed to go anywhere I desire.  Because of different life circumstances, I have worked at 4 different casinos.  I have been a very successful dealer at each of them.  It might be shocking to some of you that an introvert like me can entertain a blackjack table as well as I do.  But it is my lightly mocking wit / smart ass comments at certain times and my legitimate caring for my players at other times that allow me to bring in more tips than the average dealer.

I can hear the thoughtful criticisms of many of you already:

Todd, aren't you overqualified to be a dealer?

Weren't you an actuary until recently?

Don't actuaries make more money?

Isn't it true that the only firm requirements for being a dealer are having a G.E.D. and not having a felony conviction?

Why would someone with a B.S. in Actuarial Science from Iowa and almost a B.S. in Computer Science from Iowa State want to be in a job that gets minimum wage plus tips?

To answer those imagined (and sometimes actually asked) questions:

Yes, in terms of education, I have spent more years in school than are necessary.

Yes, as an actuary I could be making a lot more money.

No, I don't regret my actions.

The problem I had as an actuary, and a likely root cause of a lot of my job and location changes, was a lack of social interaction.  This has been a theme throughout all of my life.  I used to not talk about it, but I am not ashamed to do so now.  Growing up, I had I'd say 3 true friends and a metric crap ton of acquaintances I was friendly with.

Those acquaintances allowed me to have the skills to interact with my players as a dealer.  I'll talk with them about anything and everything.  I get a lot of social interaction all night long.  I work nights intentionally so I get higher player counts per table and have more interaction.  It also helps that I have always been a night owl.

As an actuary, I barely talked to anybody all day.  I was in a cubicle farm staring at a computer screen most of the time.  My co-workers never wanted to do anything outside of work.  They just went home to their families and that was it. 

Given the circumstances dealers work in, and the fact that we work when most people are off, it is very natural for dealers to hang out with each other outside of work.  I was quite fortunate to have developed some friendships with some dealers at my last Iowa casino, Horseshoe in Council Bluffs.  I was welcomed with open arms.  Because of them, and the persistent encouraging prodding of one person in particular, I am now in Colorado.  It's an open secret that the most likely place a dealer goes to if they voluntarily quit at Horseshoe is the Denver market.  There are a couple dozen people that have done the same thing over the past few years.

I guess in short, life has changed yet again for me.  I have friends that care about me and my well-being.  I am happy and satisfied.

Cue the Vegas Vacation quotes.

May Day Stolen

It's the tradition of May Day to be giving out candy to your neighborhood, not to be stealing it.

Yesterday, I was at the laundromat taking care of my clothes.  The dryer in my apartment complex doesn't produce any heat.  So, if I have time, I'll use the washer and then hang stuff up on my two drying racks and use hangers on many internal doorways for more stuff.  If I don't have time, I'll go to the laundromat and both wash and dry there.

I was there waiting for my wash to get done.  I had some stuff on my phone that I wanted to deal with while I waited, so I was engrossed in it.  Apparently I missed the person who broke into my car.  Only two things were taken: a bag of chocolates and my paperback copy of Game of Thrones.  The chocolates were worth $9 when full, but it was 1/3 gone already, so we'll peg it at $6.  The book I got at Half Price Books, so it only cost me $4.  A grand total of $10 worth of stuff was taken from me.

I was going to continue reading the Game of Thrones book when my stuff was drying, but that was not to be.  Sure, it was partially my fault for forgetting to lock the car door.  Obviously, the real blame is on the thief.

I’m not even that upset about the thief.  Yes, I am really into the Game of Thrones book after a friend recommended it to me.  However, it is easily replaceable.

There are two things that I am more upset about.  First, I am upset at the stupidity of the thief.  Those two things were not even close to the most valuable items in the car.

Second, I am upset that the thief didn’t just steal the whole car.  At least then I would have something to tell the insurance company about, and I could get a check.  My car is getting old and now has over 150,000 miles on it.  It has annoying but non-fatal problems all over: windshield has a crack in it, cruise control doesn’t work, no front bumper (not from a wreck, a cooler fell off a pickup truck headed home from an ISU football game this fall and I didn’t have the ability to swerve, so I straddled it), there is no knob to change where the air comes in from (I use a pair of pliers on the knob stump), the Check Engine Light is constantly on despite no actual problem, it holds my bike but not nearly as well as an SUV would, front brakes need some work, and I likely need new tires because the ones I put on not too long ago weren’t very good and haven’t worn as well as they were promised to last.

I’ve been thinking about when I want to replace the car.  It likely won’t happen for a little while.  I’ve been contemplating a couple changes to my living situation and job, so those need to get resolved first.  I’m not ready to make those changes public yet, but I have been willing to hint at them.

By the way, I’m putting off the promised tale of my Ironman adventure until another day.

Spinning Top

I think that in many ways, emotionally, I am like a large spinning top that gets expertly respun every so often.  Once a top gets set into motion, there are several physical forces acting upon it.  Yes, the top will drift a little bit here and there on the plane, but it always stays upright, happily spinning away.  Small changes in the forces upon it will slightly alter the top, but it usually recovers just fine.  If you introduce a large shove, the top will attempt to make a recovery, however, eventually it will come crashing down.  The top’s point will stay in one place, while the rest of the top will exhaust the rest of its momentum rolling around on the plane, trying desperately to get back up.

My top got shoved three times this week.  It was too much for me to bear.  I fell down.

This week has been worse on me than the past few deaths in my family.  Over the past few years I have lost my grandmother, my great aunt, and my great uncle.

So why would I say that this week was worse even though nobody died?  The timing.

I had come to peace with those deaths and knew they were going to occur.  My grandmother and her sister both were taken by dementia related problems, and my grandmother had it the worst.  She had been affected for a while before taking up residence in a nursing home for another long while.  I had the opportunity to visit her many times during that period, so I had long made my peace with her eventual passing.  I had been able to respond to that death in the time between her passing and my great aunt’s diagnosis and descent.  I had been able to make peace with my great aunt’s passing before hearing of my great uncle’s passing.  In short, there was plenty of time to cope.

I didn’t have enough time to deal with the combination of my own shortcomings coming to bear or with developments related to an aspect of my history I have kept hidden from everyone, including my parents.  This aspect is not illegal, unethical, or even immoral, but I still do not talk about it to anyone.  I told my parents of its existence once, but I made a solemn resolution that even they would not hear what the topic is, let alone my actions.

With three things occurring in the span of 4 days, I have broken down and cried twice.  I typically cry at most once a year, so I think I am good for a while.  Hopefully I can get my top spinning again soon.

Thanks for reading.

A much more uplifting and funnier topic about my Ironman adventure will be coming up next.